How to Stop Overthinking and Control Your Emotions
Do you ever catch yourself overthinking? Like whether you should go talk to someone you’re unfamiliar with. Making big decisions such as your job or major, or even something as simple as what to eat for lunch? Or perhaps it’s something someone said to you, or the way they acted, and now it’s stuck in your head and messing with your emotions.
I’m going to share with you 3 ways to stop overthinking. And by doing that, you’ll start to gain better control over your emotions too.
First, Understand Why You Overthink
2 Reasons We Overthink
1. We don’t feel comfortable taking the lead when it comes to making decisions or taking action. So we just… think about how it will play out.
2. If you were raised to be a people pleaser, afraid that disagreeing with your parents might make them withdraw their love. Then, as you get older, you’re more likely to keep things to yourself and overthink instead of speaking up or making your own decisions.
1. Talk to Someone Outside the Situation
One of the easiest ways to stop overthinking is to get a second opinion. Talk to a third party—someone who's not emotionally tied to the situation. You can even have the same conversation with ChatGPT. An outside perspective can give you a more neutral take and help you figure out what to do. Sometimes, that’s all you need to move forward.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
Let me tell you what happened to me just this morning at the gym.
I was doing ab workouts on the leg raise machine. There was a woman working out on an ab machine to my left. Then I saw this older lady, maybe around 60 years old and about 5 feet tall, walking toward me while making eye contact. She walked right between us and just stood there, facing the wall without saying a word.
In my head, I started making all these assumptions:
“These two must be friends.”
“Is she waiting for my machine?”
“Why is she standing so close to me?”
“I’m feeling pressure from her to get off!”
The lady on the ab machine walked away. The old lady was literally like 12 inches away, just standing there. After two more sets, she finally turned to me and said, “How many sets you got?” Not rude, but not polite either—just straight to the point.
I looked at her, held up one finger, and said “one.” She stayed right next to me the whole time, and she didn’t try to sit down on the empty bench. I felt pressure. Normally, I’d say “All yours” when I finish, but this time I just got off and left. I wasn’t feeling it.
But even after I walked away, the situation was still stuck in my head. I thought her actions were inconsiderate.
So I had to stop and challenge my thoughts:
“Is she actually a bad person?” -No
“What if she’s just a little awkward?” -Nothing wrong with that
“What if someone took her spot before, and now she’s just overly cautious about waiting?” -Possible
I realized I didn’t know anything about her. So why was I judging her?
3. Take Action
After that, I just moved on. I turned up my audiobook and focused on the next part of my workout. I didn’t think about it again—until writing this post.
Sometimes the best way to stop overthinking is just to do something.
Jump in the cold pool.
Stop scrolling and hit "go."
Talk to the person—but do it after you’ve challenged your thoughts so you’re coming from a better mindset.
Overthinking is a habit—and like any habit, it can be changed. The more you recognize it, challenge it, and take action, the more in control of your emotions you’ll feel.
Which of the 3 steps do you think you need to try today?
