3 Reasons Long-Distance Relationships Fail

Are you in a long-distance relationship—or thinking about getting into one? Before you dive in, let me break down the top 3 reasons most long-distance relationships fail. Trust me, it’s better to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

I’ve been through several long-distance relationships myself—across the country, across borders, even across oceans. And while most of them didn’t work out, they taught me valuable lessons that helped me turn it into a 10-year marriage. I even made a video about the top 5 lessons I learned (check it out if you're serious about doing LDR).

Now let’s get into why most long-distance relationships don’t make it.

3. Insecurities

Long-distance relationships demand emotional security. If you or your partner relies on constant reassurance, there will be burnout - fast.

Being secure means:

• You’ve worked through past relationship emotional baggage.

• You don’t get jealous or paranoid every time they go out and are possibly surrounded by attractive people.

• You don’t break or bend to temptations.

• You don’t assume the worst when they don’t answer the phone.

• You don’t treat every disagreement like it’s the end of the relationship.

If you find yourself spiraling because they didn’t text back for a few hours, that’s a red flag—not about them, but about what you need to work on.

2. Money

Let’s be real: long-distance relationships aren’t cheap. The more often you see each other, the stronger your bond will be—but that costs money.

Whether it’s gas to drive across the state or airfare to fly halfway across the world, there’s a price tag. And when you finally meet up? You’ll want to cram months of quality time into a week or two. That means:

• Eating out

• Gifts

• Entertainment

• More Travel expenses

• Unique experiences

Unless your plan is to just Netflix and chill the entire time, a lack of money can put serious strain on the relationship.

1. Physical Touch

This one’s obvious, but it’s often underestimated. Physical presence matters. Big time.

The hand-holding. The hugs. The kisses. The shoulder rubs. The scent of the person. The presence of their emotions, and I didn’t even get to the intimate part! All those little things build connection—and they’re hard to replace with a screen or text.

Usually, young testosterone-driven guys will struggle with this more than girls. When my wife and I were dating long-distance (she lived in Taiwan), I learned real quick that 6 months apart was my absolute limit before things can go south. 3-4 months was the sweet spot.

Without enough physical presence, you might as well be in a relationship with an advanced AI.

Been There? Share Your Story.

Have you been in a long-distance relationship that didn’t work out?
Drop a comment and let me know what ended it. Let’s help each other learn and grow.