5 Things I Hate About Being Introverted

If you’re reading this, you might just be discovering what it means to be an introvert. Honestly, I didn’t fully understand the difference between introverts and extroverts until I was in my mid-30s. For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me.

In this post, I’m going to share five things I personally struggle with as someone who was born introverted—and how I’ve learned to cope with them.

First, what is introversion?

Introversion is a personality trait where someone prefers solitude or small, familiar groups over large social gatherings. Introverts tend to recharge by spending time alone and often enjoy things like reading, playing video games, working independently, or being out in nature. On the flip side, situations like mingling with strangers or engaging in small talk can feel exhausting.

1. Overthinking Before I Act

One of the things I hate most about being introverted is how much I overthink—even before doing something simple. Like raising my hand in class but hesitating because I’m scared my answer might be wrong. Or spotting an old acquaintance at Costco, but avoiding them because I dread the idea of not knowing what to talk about.

Solution: Give yourself the 5-second rule. Count down 5-4-3-2-1 to take action or pass on the opportunity. Once you pass, there’s no thinking or regretting. How it works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0

2. Small Talk Drains My Soul

I can usually handle about five minutes of small talk. Maybe ten if I’m really pushing it. But after that, I feel like the energy is being sucked right out of my body. My cheek muscles start to feel like dumbbell weights from all the smiling. My brain? Fried like I woke up after a 3-hour afternoon nap.

Solution: I plan my exits. Simple excuses like “Hey, I’ve got to run—I’m meeting someone,” let me politely escape without being rude.

3. Struggling to Speak on the Fly

Unless I’m super passionate or know a topic inside out, I have a hard time explaining things clearly in real-time. I’ll pause, lose my train of thought, or get interrupted before I can finish. It’s frustrating.

Solution: Practice ahead of time. Rehearsing what you want to say or tell can make a huge difference. The more you prepare, the smoother your delivery.

4. People Think I’m Not Having Fun

I can be quietly enjoying myself at a party, just taking it all in, when someone asks, “Are you okay?” or “Why so serious?” Just because I’m not loud or engaged constantly doesn’t mean I’m not having a good time.

Solution: A simple smile—even if you’re not fully engaged—goes a long way. You don’t have to fake enthusiasm, but a relaxed, friendly expression helps people know you’re comfortable.

5. Crowds Overwhelm Me

Whether it’s a mall, a conference, or a trade show, big crowds overstimulate me. I avoid eye contact, skip booths I’m not interested in, and steer clear of unnecessary conversations. I just want to get in, see what I need to see, and leave.

Solution: Wear earphones. Not only do they help block out noise, but they also signal to others that you’re not up for chatting—especially overzealous salespeople.

Final Thoughts:
Being introverted isn’t a flaw—it’s just a different way of experiencing the world. And while it comes with its challenges, there are ways to navigate them without changing who you are. The more you understand yourself, the better you can own your introversion and thrive in a world that often favors the loudest voice in the room.